Change Comes Slowly

I have an announcement to make--which seems rather over-dramatic considering the readership of this blog is practically nonexistent beyond myself: I'm moving up the timetables. I want to finish the remaining challenges I have as quickly as possible because there are so many other wonderful events transpiring in my life that I feel the need to share, but I find it difficult to do so with this pressing obligation to fulfill my goal of completing these challenges. I know that my plan from an eternity ago miserably failed and I have no doubt that I let a lot of you down in becoming sidetracked, and making and breaking promises. My life excelled quite faster than I had ever dared imagine. Like a sudden and unpredictable gale force wind mowing down my path, life raged on and snagged me right along with it leaving behind this one simple goal of mine. I don't attempt to excuse myself from utter failure, only explain. Although, I suppose failure is completely surrendering to my vain and human self-- not pushing forward and getting back on the horse, so maybe I haven't failed yet. Either way, it's irrelevant  because I will finish these challenges and within the next few weeks (fingers crossed). The old weekly pattern has been trashed and a new, slightly sporadic design is on the drawing board: I will be posting every couple of days, sometimes back to back, sometimes only a couple times a week, but I WILL finish these challenges and I WILL press forward. Then I can freely share the miracles and mercies and tribulations and redemptions and incredulity of my ever-accelerating, wonderful, beautiful, simple life.
In a renowned novel a very wise J.R.R. Tolkien detailed a plain and simple, yet merry people who lived their lives ignorant of the outside world with "change coming slowly." A heart may be a hard thing to change, but so to are the massive impenetrable gates and doors adorning those beloved ancient fortresses in Europe and the mighty change occurring as one of those swings open is wrought by the tiniest of hinges. I apologize for the delay, but one thing I can promise: not matter how long it takes, change will always come.

Week 5: Live the Gospel

Challenge: Rise above worldly fears and live the Gospel.
Promise: Love will become the governing factor in your life.
Dunn begins with two scenario's of "One" who is not sinning and "Another" who is trying to do good. The psychology behind this (which we just discussed in class a couple weeks ago-- I actually am learning at college : D) consists of three steps in moral belief. The transition between these steps generally occurs naturally as a person ages. Children obey to not receive punishment: "Don't throw a tantrum or you'll be spanked;" slightly older adolescents simply follow the rules because "they're the rules;" and-- hopefully-- adults do good because "it's the right thing to do" or to help someone else. Dunn combines these first two processes into one "founded on fear."
He also gives an example of a Bishop's interview in which the Bishop asks if you would like the hard or easy interview. The easy one asks if you are living the law; the hard one asks if you are living the Gospel. "Living one will keep you out of hell, bu living the other will return you to the presence of God."
One thing he specifically promises is that if you live the Gospel "you will thereby have a particular ability to inspire others." Reflecting on this in context of the mission I will soon be serving and my friends' experiences who are currently serving, I can testify to this. I know and pray that I will be able to live the Gospel well enough in the future to inspire others, through the Holy Ghost, to come unto Christ, and I have seen this ability at work in current missionaries.
This week just happens to be Helaman Residence Halls Mission Week. For this purpose I have been "called" to Ireland Dublin. I am hereby formally accepting the challenge to retire at 10:30, rise at 6:30, dedicate an hour to scripture study every day, and attend as many of the functions of the week as I can (I would dress like a missionary if it weren't so cold haha). Beyond these tasks I will try to spend more time in service and prayer for others around me. I will practice abandoning the confines of fear for the liberty of the Gospel and the embrace of love, and as I do...I hope to be able to focus more on others and inspire a Spirit of obedience to a higher law in others.
I would recommend trying to improve in one area of living the Gospel this week, or whatever you feel you should do to forfeit fear and live the Gospel. Good luck! God bless your efforts!

My Decision

I will post about the next challenge tomorrow, but I just wanted to quickly comment on the last one.
In applying the concept of decision making, I have made one....a big one:
I'M SERVING A MISSION!!!!!!!!
I will submit my papers in January, finish winter semester, and then "forget [myself] and go to work!"

Week 4: Learn How to Make Life's Decisions

Before I post about the challenge, I issue my sincere apology for not posting the last few weeks and express my heart-felt regret for the experiences and opportunities that I, and maybe even some have you, have missed out on because I allowed moving and school to distract me from these goals. I cannot promise that it won't happen again- I am human after all- but I beg all of you who are reading this to bare with me through my weaknesses. I have no desire whatsoever to skip a single challenge so I am picking up where I left off. Many of you may have continued in my absence. I thank you for being so diligent, and pray that you will not be too upset with my poor example.

Challenge: Learn how to make life's decisions.
Promise:  You will see more clearly the right forks in the road.
Dunn relates the story of a man seeking an apostle's guidance because he felt that-- despite his prayer, study, and faith-- he had not received direction. The apostle most wisely corrected: "You have left out [a] step...which is to make your own decision, based on your goals and on the feelings you have had in prayer. The Lord's promise is that he will confirm or disavow our decisions, not that he will make the decisions for us...."
Many times in life we become so lost and confused that in our dire need we think how much easier hard decisions would be if Heavenly Father chose the correct path for us. Fortunately, God does not operate this way. I say fortunately because-- even though it is difficult-- I reflect on the growth and confidence I gain from following the deciding process as the apostle above instructs and see the value of careful study, prayer, and thought before approaching God with a decision. While we review the many avenues laid before our feet and pour our hearts out to God, He will direct our thoughts to the right option. Just because He has not confirmed or denied a decision yet, does not mean He will not help you make it.
I know this is shorter compared to past commentaries, but, as Nephi said, "the things which I have written sufficeth me..." (1 Nephi 14:26).  I leave you to the challenge with one more comment: I encourage you to select one decision currently on your plate and set aside five to ten minutes a day to contemplate, study, and pray about the issue. Then, whenever you feel you have reached the appropriate decision, kneel and explain to Heavenly Father, in detail, why you have reached it and ask to know if it is the correct choice for you. "...and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right," (Doctrine & Covenants 9:8)
Good Luck!

Week 3: Priorities

Challenge: Discover Your Priorities.
Promise: Greater Freedom from Tensions and Frustrations.
Faced with a barrage of random events, work, and my own inherent laziness, I struggled to find time to write this post or even peak at the next chapter. So you can imagine the smack in the face I felt when I glanced at chapter three yesterday. There I was dashing about with a million things to do-- or lying on the couch too lethargic to even walk five steps to the kitchen for water-- when I discovered this week is about priorities. A book reprimanded me! I can almost hear Ron Weasley's voice echo in my brain: "She needs to sort out her priorities." Embarrassed, I admit that my efforts the last couple of weeks has been extremely lax-- so much so that Heavenly Father had to chastise me through the written word! With limited time remaining this week, I address a much needed topic: priorities.
Dunn suggests writing a list of your priorities and then writing a list of where you spend your time. He affirms, and from experience I concur, that they most likely won't match up. The president and prophet of my church, Thomas Monson, lamented that only in times of great sorrow, "when life's candle dims and threatens to darken," do we remember what's really important. Well, I am not going to wait. No more will I simply talk the talk-- I will walk the walk.
Fortunately, as Dunn indicates, God has already outlined the priorities befitting a disciple of Christ. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God...and all these things shall be added unto you," (Mathew). "But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches," (Jacob 2: 18-19, Book of Mormon).
I encourage anyone who hasn't yet to "sort out [your] priorities." Start putting in time where it matters most for you. "And as you do...I promise you greater freedom from tension and frustrations," (Dunn).
Now, I am listening to Enya and she sings, "only if you want to you can seize the day...only if you want to you can find a way." Go and find a way!

Week 2: Lifetime Goals

Disclaimer: I apologize for not posting on Sunday-- it was a crazy day. Then yesterday when I started this post, the computer froze up and freaked out.
Challenge: Write your diary in advance.
Promise: You will move toward your lifetime goal.
Dunn states that through goal setting, we can "write about what's happened before it's happened," and thus write our diaries in advance. I would like to clarify that goal setting is not predicting the future-- it's making the future. "If your goals are strong enough, they will inevitably produce results," (Dunn). Dunn reaffirms his faith that the subconscious mind, "if programmed with goals that are already set," will automatically steer you toward those goals. This reminded me of a poem I read by Walter D Whintle:

"If you think you are beaten, you are.

If you think you dare not, you don't.

If you'd like to win but you think you can't,

It's almost certain you won't.

Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man,

But sooner or later, the man who wins 

Is the man who thinks he can."

From the last few lines, the Spirit brought to my mind David and Goliath. Beating the nine foot, gazillion pound, angry, blood-thirsty Philistine seemed like an impossible goal. I often imagine King Saul and the Israelites laughing at David, but his faith in God "deliver[ed him] out of the hand of the Philistine," (1 Sam. 17:37).

Dunn continues "We have the unique perspective of knowing that the ultimate goal is to be as God is, and the lifetime goal is to return to His presence. All shorter-range goals should tune themselves to that. The way to do it is to look long and hard and prayerfully at that lifetime goal, and then WRITE DOWN what you could do in the next five years in pursuit of it," (caps added). I stress that all goals are written down. I do not recall who, but a leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints explains why when he said, "A goal unwritten is just a dream." From experience I can testify that not writing down a goal is like fantasizing "I hope one day to do this or be that," but writing down a goal is demanding "I will do this and I will be that." So whatever goal you work on this week please WRITE. IT. DOWN.

After supporting our lifetime goal with a five year goal, Dunn encourages us to set a one year goal that will uphold the five year goal, and then a one month goal, and then a one week goal. So here it goes:

Since my lifetime goal is to return to live with Heavenly Father I know I will need the direction, counsel, and examples found and placed in the scriptures specifically to help us with this lifetime goal. Therefore, in five years I will have a thorough knowledge of all the scriptures. It works perfectly, one set of scripture for each year: 1. the Book of Mormon  2.the Old Testament  3.the New Testament  4.the Doctrine and Covenants and 5. the Pearl of Great Price(contains some re-translations of the Bible, Joseph Smith's record of seeing God and Jesus Christ and obtaining the Book of Mormon, and 13 articles describing what we believe- for more information go to mormon.org/faq/). For my one year goal I will read the Book of Mormon twice. The math says that in one month I need to be in 2 Nephi 19. In one week I will have read to 1 Nephi 13. Now I am making the future! I suggest that you do the same. Not the same goal, but do the same with whatever your goal is. Just as Dunn promises, I promise the if you follow this pattern for setting goals you will "see that nothing is unreachable to one who works in partnership with God," (Dunn).

                   

Week 1: Personal Divine Destiny

Challenge: To seek your personal divine destiny.
Promise: A feeling of purpose, and assurance, and worth.
In this chapter Dunn encourages you to seek out your divine purpose and part in God's plan. He recommends beginning with your Patriarchal Blessing. For those of you who do not know, a Patriarchal Blessing is a special blessing given through the Spirit and power of God and righteous man worthy to hold and exercise that power (or the Priesthood*). It is a message from a loving Heavenly Father to counsel, guide, and aid the recipient through his/her life. It is a special and wonderful gift from God to help us through the trials in life so we can return to live with Him. Those who have received their Patriarchal Blessings may find it helpful this week, but it is not necessary to complete the challenge.
Dunn suggests much prayer and study (of the scriptures, your life, and yourself) so that God may reveal your divine destiny gradually. "Line upon line...precept upon precept," (Isaiah 28:13) Dunn points out that even Jesus learned gradually and patiently. Patience will be the most challenging aspect of this week's challenge. Diligence and hard work are much easier to bear than waiting and learning slowly; therefore trust and faith are crucial. "Have the faith to let it come at the rate that the Lord wants it to come, for He knows the best time. But be persistent...the important thing is not that you know fully and precisely...but rather that you are seeking to know it," (Dunn).
Dunn promises that a knowledge you divine nature and destiny produce "an increased resistance to the feelings of gloom....and an appreciation for the part every man can play in [God's] plan." So be on the look out for joy and an increased appreciation of others as children of God (and I might also add a confidence boost). Good luck! If you feel like it let me know how it goes by commenting on this post.
 *Better explained here: http://mormon.org/faq/topic/priesthood/question/purpose-of-priesthood

My Challenge to You: Make a list of at least 10 things you are good at, thank Heavenly Father, and then find ways to use some of them to help others.

This week's experience:  Dunn wrote that "all men come to earth with specific missions to perform." I do not know what my specific mission is but I do know that "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them," (Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 3:7). So whatever mission is mine I have been or will be prepared to accomplish it. Which means that every physical and spiritual affliction I endured was to help prepare me, shape me, mold me, so that I can be used the way Heavenly Father has designed. "If thou are called to pass through tribulation, it shall be for thy good," (Doctrine & Covenants[explained last post] 58:5-8). I am blessed with talents to bless others and be an instrument in the Lord's hands-- talents I don't even recognize as talents. After reflecting on my talents, I am overwhelmed at the number. I play piano and sing but I also have a friendly smile and give good hugs. They may not seem like talents but I can serve others through these blessings. "Neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it many not be know," (Doctrine & Covenants 60:13, Parable of the Talents Mathew 25). We all have talents given to us from God. How divine and special is that?!

Challenge Accepted

In a moment of spiritual curiousity I pulled a book from my shelf that I have been itching to read for ages: "I Challenge You...I Promise You..." by Paul H. Dunn or "I Promise You...I Chanllenge You..." by Paul H. Dunn. As a little girl I was fascinated with reversable clothing. My reversable jacket was magical; there was no wrong way to wear it because both sides were pretty and Mom would let me walk out the door with it on either way. This book is similar to my magical jacket. It does not matter which end of the book I begin to read-- the message is the same from either end. Dunn interviewed a group of young couples about their formative years and mapped out a series of accompanying challenges and promises for youth in the church. Whether a challenge or promise is written on a page I can access the other simply by flipping the page upside-down.
In the introduction, Dunn encourages the reader to veiw this book as "a process wherein you think more than you read." Therefore, I decided to record my thoughts and experiences as I read, starting with the introductory chapter: "I Challenge You to Prove the Lord."
Also in the introduction, Dunn suggests that the reader "read a line, then look up and think a page," so after reading the title of the chapter I looked up and immediately thought of my Especially For Youth company from 2011. We were called Prove Me Now. The title originates from Malachi 3: 10 (thank goodness for scripture mastery otherwise I would not have remembered that :D). The Lord challenges: "prove me now herewith...if I will not open the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to recieve it." I know this was said in reference to tithing and not this book, but the idea applies to everything. Countless times in church I have been told: "The Lord wants to bless you." I can just picture a room in heaven, stocked full of bleassings of every kind fastened with a door that is bulging so it does not look like it will hold another second, with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ standing by waiting to pronounce all those blssings upon the faithful of the world. (So it is not a page but one line produced a lot of thought!) Dunn continues, "He has invited us to prove Him by accepting the challenges and expecting the promises. The connection between the two are of His design; and you can know that for yourself if you will engage in the proving process." This last sentence brought to mind another scritpure mastery, Doctrine and Covenants 58: 27 (for those of you who do not know, the Doctrine and Covenants is a record of Jesus' relationship with the memebers of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the 1800s-- their struggles, faith, dilligence, and blessings. A lot like the bible but a different time in history.) The verse reads: "Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness." This book-- the improving of my relationship with Christ-- is definitely a good cause, I accept these challenges of my own free will, and I hope to "bring to pass much righteousness."
Challenge: Prove the Lord by accepting the challenges in this book and expecting the promises.
Promise: The rewards in this book will be yours.
Dunn guarantees "that the number of promises you recieve will be the number of challenges you accept." As long as I "accept the challenges and expect the promises" there is no way to fail. Now that is an encouraging thought. :D
Dunn further challenges in the introduction: "Read a chapter and live it for a week; then read another chapter." That means this is a 20 week book; this is a 20 week proccess; this is a 20 week opportuinty to "prove the Lord;" this is a 20 week challenge....Challenge accepted.
I invinte any and every one who wishes to take the challenge with me to do so. On the Sunday of each week I will post the challenge, promise, and my thoughts. I will continue to update the post throughout the week as I see the promise unfold in my life. Should you desire to participate with me, accept the challenge and share your own ideas and experiences by commenting on the week's post.
You do not have to be a member of my church or any church. You do not even have to beleive in God. "It does not matter, He believes in you," (The Count of Monte Cristo, movie).
 Though I have never read this book or met Paul Dunn, I know Jesus Christ and that He is honest. I add my guaranty to Dunn's. Accept these challenges, and you will see the promises unfold.
Please join me, even if you do not comment on anything. This is a personal process and if you do not want to share that is ok, I love you and thank you for accepting the challenge.
The first challenge will be issued on July 22.
The 20 challenge will conclude on December 8.
Please join me! :D

If you want to purchase the book I believe it is available online.

The Avalanche of Self-Motivation

Today in Sunday School, my teacher asked what motivated us to change and to commit to a standard of righteous living. Wow. That sent my brain whirling! All the virtuous actions I experienced in the last 24 hours swarmed into my mind and surprised me to realize that they were all self-motivated, or based on the desire to earn my Father in Heaven and my Brother Jesus' approval. Of course I was not always so good. I think of the differences between Megan, the bratty does-whatever-she-wants-when-she-wants-because-she-wants 12 year-old, and the Megan I am now and wonder what changed my course in the middle. I have an idea which (although this is unbelievably nerdy of me) came from a Lord of the Rings line. In The Two Towers, Gandalf compares Merry and Pippin's arrival in Fangorn Forest to "the falling of small stones that start some avalanche in the mountains." Well, my avalanche of self-movitation definitely would not have commenced without a few small stones falling first. My seminary teachers, Young Women's leaders, and EFY counselors are some. I could never adequately express in this restrictive language the impact they had-- and have-- on my ability to independantly learn and grow from the Spirit. As much as I adore words, language is a barrier to the soul's emotions (at least as far as my knowledge of language extends), and I can find no better way to communicate mine than with that quirky avalanche analogy.

...Their small influences...

...Have made all the difference...



The Mystery of The "Y"

Well, I am officially a Cougar! Whoot! Three cheers for Brigham Young University!
College is pretty exciting and I cannot wait to leave home and and start grasping at the straws of my higher education, but of course I am a little frightened. I like to think of myself as an independent person, though, I realize that a great deal of my current "independence" is dependant upon my parents: my room, my car, my phone, the money with which I purchased everything that is "mine," etc. I am not under the impression that any of that will change at college. My education, food, and boarding will still be paid for out of my parents' pockets, but there is a great deal more liberty accompanying college life. I will have no one to answer to but myself-- I do not have to check in when I get home, let anyone know where I am going or how late I will be gone; I chose when to study or to study at all, when I go to class or to go to class at all.... As much as I am sure to enjoy that freedom, I do not completely trust myself. The inherent and ever-present human condition yanks and pulls at my grasp on independant happiness. I fear succumig to procrastination, idleness, and all other poisonous, unshakable habits fetered to mankind which lead to dissapointment, regret, and failure. I have confidence enough to know that I will not totally fail in college, but past experience causes me to suspect that I may fail to meet my own perfectly realistic and atainable expectations...yet hope remains. My worries and my doubts may be slightly over-exageratted considering the encouraging learning environment that calls BYU home. Though only ever setting foot on campus a couple of times, it is apparant that I could not have dreamed of a better, more supportive and fail-safe atmosphere.
When I went to long in to byu.edu, I saw a link for a video discussing the history of the Y. My mother always wondered why only the Y out of BYU is on the mountain in the valley. The answer: exhaustion. The class of 1907 wanted to be remembered on campus, so they put '07 on the mountain. Well, the class of 1908 did not like that, so they changed it to '08. Fist fights broke out between the two classes which forced the president into action. He decided that one symbol would go on the mountain to represent all ulumni: the letters BYU. Hundreds of student swarmed in to help heave buckets of lime or sand stone up the mountain. It took longer than they thought to shape the over 300 yard "Y" and many volunteers had fainted from over exertion, so naturally, they abandoned the other two letters and left the "Y" standing. That, my friends, is the mystery of the "Y."



Turning A Blind Eye

One of Satan's most convincing and common-place lies is "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Confucious corrected this perfectly when he said, "everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." Because not everyone sees beauty in everything, people have not diagnosed their own blindess. Instead, the world decided that beauty is percieved differently through each pair of eyes. It assigned fault and inconsistancy to beauty and not to humanity where it belongs. Beauty is unchanging and ever present; humanity is ignorant and capricious. This flaw is most apparent in the treatment of others. By averting man's eyes from inner beauty, Satan has encouraged and instigated un-Christ like behavior. I had a friend in first grade, Kelly, whom the other kids had cast off because they thought she was fat and ugly. They failed to penetrate Satan's dark mist and understand that beauty is so much more than what their eyes see. Kelly was the sweetest, most faithful friend of mine at the time. Her inner beauty out shone all of the prepy girls' perfect facades. More that this, I know that God created everything in this universe and beyond-- God does not make ugly things.



An Inherent Gift

I watch cop shows. I do not know why but I love them; maybe it's the mystery or the suspense, I am not sure but I love them, and so does my family. We can always sit around on a Saturday afternoon and watch "Burn Notice" together. About 90 percent of the shows we record are cop shows, but-- as much as I am intrigued by murder mysteries-- my absolute, hands-down favorite television show is "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." 

Though Ty Penington's boyish charm is entertaining, I adore this show because it gives me hope and evidence of the light of Christ. Watching this show makes me think of Zion: everyone pitching in their skills, time, and maybe money to help out others in the community who are in need. This is the type of program I believe Heavenly Father inspired whoever invented television to invent television for- if that makes any sense at all (not that anyone is reading this to find sense in it anyway so I guess I am just writing it to help me feel productive hah that works for me!). 
Though I know that all the cop shows I watch are 100 percent fiction, fiction is always based in fact, right? Therefore those psychopaths I watch for entertainment are actually out in society threatening peaceful living- now that is a  frightening thought. Watching "Extreme Makeover" reminds me that Christ does have an affect on the world: whether people are LDS or not, everyone is born with the light of Christ...and that is an encouraging thought. :)